Weekend is here and it means more dating for some and more longing for others. There is a third category, that of losers, for whom it will mean more cricket, more movies, and more readings. But I don’t want to talk about myself in all my posts.
I, also, do not claim to have an expertise on the intricacies and nuances of dating but while talking to a group of my friends, a very sensitive and complicated aspect of dating hit my mind: the money involved in or rather while dating. I am talking about more pedantic and proper form of dating — the kinds we see in, and often imitate, movies — than its innocent and elementary counterpart.
Given the social and poor urban planning in this nation, there is always a need for ‘some place nice’ and the money involved while dating is quite a fortune. At the cost of sounding like a capitalist, I wonder no big players of market research have yet studied the spending habits of the people involved. This huge market, to an extent, remains unorganized and faintly demarcated.
The usual norm is that the guy pays for the food, drinks, ambiance, tickets or any other costs incurred. There is no deviation from this practice. The school of thought which believes in sharing the costs is minority and those who successfully pull it off sans awkwardness and raised eye-brows are even lesser in number.
Why is a guy expected to pay on a date? Because this is what guys are supposed to do: provide assurance and a sense of security. They did this by showing off their brutal and raw strength, and hunting abilities during cave-ages. Now money provides more protection and sense of stability. It is like an imprimatur of manliness. So they often will spend what they normally would not, on dates; tough to digest, but very close to truth.
Times have changed, as they often do. Women earn and guys use lip-gloss. There is rise in the number of feminists. Isn’t it a hypocrisy that on one part a woman expects equal rights in every sphere and on the other the issue of money is wholly a guy’s issue?
Do we bend the rules of feminism and chauvinism according to our ease and benefits?
Are you a guy who’d expect your girl to share dating costs or even accede to any such idea?
Would you date a woman who earns more than you?
Would you date a guy who talks money to you?
I’ve never done it. Till now, I even hadn’t thought of it. I, like you, was lessoned the tenets of chivalry since childhood. And none of us would want to see a girl aiming towards her purse when the bill arrives.
Beneath that veneer of our shallow pretense on gender-equality, the demarcation of sexes still shows up. If men and women were to be equal, I wonder if God just meant fun while making such distinction.
© Rakesh 2011
