Each and every frame of Don2 is suave, exotic and exquisite but when all those frames are combined and run together, Don2 misses the plotline. The plot is very simple though: Five years later, Don(Shahrukh Khan)—after establishing his unchallengeable fiefdom in Asia—heads towards Europe to extend his drug-cartel. This expectedly does not go well into the European mafia and they consort themselves to ‘keel Don’. But Don apparently has some other plan and to pull it off, he needs his old-time ‘frenemy’ Vardhan(Boman Irani). So what does he do now? Simple: He surrenders himself to the cops: Roma(Priyanka Chopra) and Mr. Malik(Om Puri), and takes Vardhan out of Kuala Lampur jail. From there they head to Zurich and then to Berlin to steal “banknote printing plates” from the highly-secured central bank, which will make him, well, rich! Sounds simple? But Don has several sub-plans in the plans which make him con Vardhan again this time. In his sub-plans, his aides are Ayesha(Lara Dutta) and the hacker-guy(Kunal Kapoor). At the end of the story, Don has the banknote-plates and he manages to strike a deal with the police—remember the “disk” in the prequel? Yeah, he gives it to the cops and all the European mafia is behind bars—and Don, now, is a free respectable man!
Don2 begins with a slow and dragging first half and takes time to pitch in all the characters. The second half is much better and sharp. The movie is all about Shahrukh and he does not disappoint his fans a bit by pulling his character off with style and élan, though he sometimes go overboard with his baritone and pitch which diminishes the overall seriousness of the sequence. But full marks to the ease with he slips into negativity. Boman Irani, surprisingly, looks out of form here. And no matter how hard Priyanka Chopra tries, she does not look threatening et all and is a pain to bear. Om Puri disappoints and does not have much footage. Lara Dutta does her brief cameo with elegance and charm. Kunal Kapoor is okay.
Direction, costumes and background score is all where Don2 scores. Every single shot oozes style and polish. The fight and car-chasing sequences are engrossing and the shots of never-seen-before Berlin are breath-taking. But the plot, like a party-spoiler irritates, is hardly convincing (except the part where they loot the bank) and leaves many unanswered questions:
If getting out of jail was that easy, then was Vardhan waiting for Don all these years to get out? Why did Don need Vardhan? Didn’t he have his own men? Seemed so, given that in the opening sequence, he takes his own consignee!(In spite of being...well...DON, humility? )
After planning to ‘keel Don’, where was the European mafia partying instead of killing Don, he came to Berlin, right? We wanted to see someone apart from dumb Indian Cops chasing Don there!
Once bitten twice shy, right? Not so much in case of the cops (Priyanka and Om Puri) who are coxed by Don into believing in him. They repeatedly buy the fact that Don has got a change of heart and really want to help them!
As an insult to the viewer’s intelligence, the part where Hrithik (Yes, he’s there too to up the style-quotient) unmasks himself as Don, is well…very lame!
Apart from the flaws in the plot, Don2 is a visual treat and matches the panache of Hollywood flicks like Ocean’s11. Watch it out for Shahrukh, who undisputedly is the king of—like everything—the movie. All cheers to Shahrukh and his charisma.
Shahrukh! OMG! You can not contain him in words. Those eyes of love, solitude, longing, want, fear, hatred, and jealousy; that face of thousand honest expressions, as if possessed, conveys what exactly he wants to; that intensity of moves, which would make any tune sound good; that baritone of his voice, which would fumble, pause, and rise in exact sync with his majestic face; the fluffy mane of his past, which you would otherwise mock, but as noble, pure, and honest as his smile. You cannot describe the Colosseum to someone who is blind, you cannot describe an orgasm to someone who is a virgin, and you cannot describe Shahrukh to someone who does not belong to Shahrukhism. Shahrukh is not just a cinema; it is much more than that. Like Sachin is not just a cricketer and Beatles is not just a band. There come may better actors, but no one will ever replicate Shahrukh. Like no one will ever replicate Sachin and Beatles. He can die with his legs up in the air and it will look good. He can romance a cow on screen and it will look good. He can be beaten down to ground and it will look good. He can wear most atrocious clothes, and do most atrocious acts, but with his touch of an alchemist, everything which is him will be gold. He can be a loser and a failure, and you’ll love him.
You don’t need to write good roles for him, you don’t need to write good dialogues for him, you don’t need to design good clothes for him, you don’t need to create good songs for him; at the end of the day, it will be Shahrukh who’ll be enacting them, it will be Shahrukh who’ll be speaking those lines, it will be Shahrukh who’ll be wearing those clothes, and it will be Shahrukh who’ll be dancing to them. He’ll be the cynosure of everything, in perfect control of anything around him. It is easy to be a good actor. It really is. But it is impossible to be a Shahrukh. Try replacing anyone in any single shot of Shahrukh and you’ll know what I am talking about (Heck! You cannot chase the baddies on a rickshaw or haggle to buy a watermelon for the lead-lady and still manage to look that cool!). Shahrukh can pull off anything and make it real; make it believable. Sharukh always strikes the right chords. When you see him, you own him; you think he’s all yours; he’s someone you would want your father to be like, he’s someone you would want your brother to be like and he’s someone you would want your son to be like. Shahrukh is believable. Shahrukh is cool. Portraying the fallacies and weakness of a common man can only be Shahrukh’s forte. And he’s magical in that.
Shahrukh off screen is an equal delight. While the rest from his fraternity can carry off nothing more than a chuckle or giggle while looking dumb and annoying, Shahrukh knows, each and every time, what he’s talking about. Super-intelligent will be an understatement. He has wits which are genuine, and he has words which make others look illiterate. His brain and reactions work at the speed of light, and still all he’ll say will be meaningful and will have a right combination of philosophy, humor and sarcasm. He has what all his peers lack: a presence of mind. He’s the true off-screen show-man. You may hate his performances, but you’ll be overdoing if you hate him as a person.
Shahrukh is not perfect, and I would have not liked him had he been one. His imperfections are his charm, like the vulnerability of Sachin in his nineties. It adds to his awe. It’s like wondering for an instance how beautiful Michelangelo’s Pieta would’ve been without those broken pieces, and then thinking that the broken pieces actually add to the beauty of the sculpture. Shahrukh never gave his best; he always gasps you in want of more. I doubt he would be excited to give his all even in his swansong performance. Shahrukh is not about details, you’ve to appreciate the whole panorama. He’s a painting which you cannot absorb in a single view. You want to see it again and again.
An actor should be judged solely on the basic of his silver-screen performances. Not on the basis of awards, recognitions, fan-followings, and box office. His personal life and his background should be nobody’s business. But if you still want to use such parameters for Shahrukh, do your own mathematics.
Shahrukh’s success is a success of a common man. And it is the only reason you may hate him. It is a success which all of us dreamt of, but hardly achieved. Yes, people wonder how a mediocre looking guy coming from nowhere can storm the whole world. WHOLE WORLD! This observation fuels jealousy and hatred. You wonder what he has in him that took him that high. It makes you feel restless. Shahrukh is a winner any day. He’s not an underdog. People love when underdogs perform. And unfortunately, all his underdog companions have been surprisingly incompetent and that again is Shahrukh’s fault. When his peers succeed ephemerally, they are hailed and no one remembers their bulk serial failures of the past. Shahrukh’s success is taken for granted, but his failures are archived and more intensely mocked. Even in his success, dots of failures will be searched. When his peers promote their projects by giving haircuts to public and traveling in rickshaws across the nation dressed as jokers, they are lauded and termed innovative; when Shahrukh outscore them, it is just shameless marketing. When movies with no story succeed and shirts tear off by it selves, they’re cult-classics; but each of Shahrukh’s movies is sharply analyzed on the balance of logic. A sixty-year bald actor with his clownish acts is a demi-god on screen, but they never fail to count the forehead creases of Shahrukh who unlike his peers, thanks to his injuries, cannot take help of Botox to look young.
They have tried everything possible to match his success. Some have tried to pretend ‘different’ and act as the ‘art-house’ of Hindi-Cinema (it no doubt works, for people too need to fake their elitism by pretending to like such ‘art’). Others are desperately finding solace in remaking southern hits shot-to-shot. May they all succeed. They need all such tactics for they all are mechanical and expressionless. They all are insecure and it is perceivable how difficult it must be for them to hold their ground. But it was Shahrukh who first changed the laws of cinema well back when he started. He made the audience believe that heroes can be bad, heroes can cry, and heroes need not flex their muscles all the time. No matter what others say, Shahrukh changed all the conventions, truly as the first iconoclast of Hindi cinema. Shahrukh is the benchmark of everything. All accomplishments in Hindi-cinema are and will always be compared to that of Shahrukh! Does one need to say anything more?
Shahrukh is termed shallow because he wants to have all the money in this world. He unfortunately does not accept the morals we impose on him. But thank god he’s not pretentious. Thank god he does not sit for Medha Patkar’s causes without actually understanding what they are about (only to run away later when they vandalize and halt your movie screenings). Thank god he does not second Anna’s campaign just for the heck of him. We did not see him when the Olympic torch arrived in the country. He does not belong to there. But he’s always at places where he belongs to, and he challenged the so called tiger in his “own den” while reiterating his statement backing Paki cricketers. Shahrukh is shallow because he does not care what people think of him. He works day and night so that he can have enough money when he’s old and feeble. He’s an artist who now seeks commerce over estheticism, who now prefers glamour and indulgence over abstinence. He’s the Indian god for hedonism. We all the hedonists but hate him for the very same reason. Because he's excelling at it.
Millions of people across the globe cannot go wrong. Respect their judgments. And no one can argue that his name has transcended the barriers of nations, languages, and religion like no one else. It is, it is difficult and beyond the imagination of most of us, the fan-following he enjoys overseas. He’s unarguably, the most recognized Indian man alive in the world. The world knows just his face. But even if he hadn’t achieved all of this, he would have been this charismatic.
To me, cinema is nothing but Shahrukh. I’ve cried and laughed with him every time. I wanted to scream my lungs out when I was next to Mannat. I, unfortunately, don’t understand any other actors. I’ve tried, really, again and again but failed. But I am sure they all are good. But I just don’t get them. And it’s okay if you don’t get Shahrukh. Yes, each of you has your own taste of cinema. You may hate him to your core. You may make fun of everything which is him. You may think he’s ugly and not a hero in Hindi-cinema sense. I would understand all of that, but still pity that you would never experience the array of emotions we, the followers of Shahrukhism, experience every time we see him. Shahrukhism is not an elite cult, but still pity that you don’t belong to it. And more pity that you cannot convert to Shahrukhism for if you are not into it, you cannot be into it. And those who belong to it will know what I am talking about. For the rest, this post will mean no more than, a maudlin paean, a drama, a joke? To rest, all in the name of Shahrukh Khan, he has promised to entertain us as long as he lives. The milestone may say forty-six, but picture abhi baki hai mere dost…
It was summer of 2008. My friend from US, while discussing books, suggested that I read Twilight which was heading NY Times bestsellers since its release. According to her, it was the ‘avant-garde’ work of modern times. Those were the times of Orkut and sanity. The country was yet to import and witness the hype and mania surrounding the saga. Local bookstores were oblivious to the series but the store I patronized, promised me a copy in about ten days. Twenty days later, I had an overpriced imported copy of the book. The cover looked aesthete with a pair of hands holding a neat-fresh red apple in cusped palms over a complete black background. The title - twilight and author’s name – STEPHNIE MEYER were embossed in white at the top and bottom of cover respectively. Pages and fonts reminded me of cheap copies of pulp literature.
Long story cut short: the protagonist, a timid teen girl with ‘family-issues’ moves out to a new place and discovers that her ‘soul-mate’ is a vampire. A wolf-pack is touted against the vampire family to entwine the plot in later sequels. Apparently, the favorite pastime of all the characters in the saga is to protect the half-wit girl who has all the baddies vying for her blood. The writing was prosaic at best with irritating biblical undertones.
No hard-feelings towards Stephnie Meyer till then. But one day, they come up with a movie by the same name. All characters that came alive on the screen were necessarily beautiful and terribly incompetent as actors. The suave vampires had their faces and bodies painted white. The wild and brutal wolf-pack was characterized by their six-pack abs. Rob Pattinson, the chief vampire protagonist, who did the commendable job of maintaining a single grinning-cum-snaring expression throughout the movie, was giving Bills and Boon a run for their money. He was only overreached by Kristen Stewart, the female lead, who achieved the double feat of simultaneously fidgeting her hair while giving her signature constipated look and acting as dumb as she could.
And guys had a tough life. Girls went frenzy and copies of saga became their cult accessory. (Most of them, in their lives, had not read anything beyond Chacha Choudhary). Every girl-profile I trawled on Orkut would depict the love for Twilight. Dating standards went all time high. Every girl at campus grew smugger and meaner. Although, the saga emphasized the importance of having a boyfriend, anyone less than an immortal would not do for them. The girl I was dating suggested that I get a ‘Rob-cut’ (Yes! The first time I heard that word, I felt something inside my guts wanting to scream!) Damn Twilight. Damn Hollywood. Damn globalization. And yes, damn MTV movie awards as well! (All rich and dumb kids in West vote for it!) So, when this friend of mine, with her unfading excitement for the saga, mentioned how the lead protagonists are getting married in the next sequel, a thought ran down my mind. Bollywood can befittingly reply to the torture of Twilight and excel at that. All we need is a KJo.
If KJo were to make a remake of Twilight, the movie would be named either ‘Kuch Kuch Twilight hai’ or ‘Kabhi Vampire Kabhi Wolf’. He’d properly buy the rights for the remake rather than just remaking. And no prizes for guessing who the male protagonist will be: Shahrukh Khan. Of course he’s busy with his superhero commitments, but he can’t say ‘No’ to a KJo project and those who have watched the visual torture of Twilight can assure you; a vampire is no less than a superhero. And we all know how well Shahrukh can pull off the character of a student. Any of the KJo’s actresses can be cast as the female lead. They all look more or less dumb, but I think Kajal, dancing in the rain in a white saree, will add a new dimension to the character of Kristen Stewart while seducing the wolf-pack. Finding a wolf-pack would not be a major headache for KJo. New gen Hindi actors compensate for their acting skills with their six-packs. But obviously it will be a casting coup if KJo could persuade Salman Khan to enact the role of Taylor Lautner. It will be interesting to watch the Khan rivalry flame the silver screen. And man! He’s without his shirt all the time. The role of the aloof cop-cum-father should go to Big B. Of the baddies, I so much see (or want to see) Mallika Sherawat play the role of Victoria.
Obviously the story would be set in Switzerland and opening shot will depict Shahrukh, playing a violin and subsequently stretching his arms, waiting eternally for his true love. Contrary to Robert Pattinson, he can have as many expressions as he want on his face. The viewers will be free to choose the one they like and ignore the rest. Biology lab would replace classes on literature. (Of course the ones those teach the meaning of love) And songs choreographed by Farah Khan would see books and sarees flying. The Main Hoon Na prom dance can be re-enacted at the end before the credits roll.
With my limited knowledge from the one book I read, and one movie and few trailers I saw, this is all I see KJo doing. Of course with his creative freedom, he’ll stretch this by too far. The movie will surely be a hit in NRI strongholds (Indian audiences are getting too critical of Shahrukh these days) and Shahrukh will get another Filmfare for best actor. (Of course they’ll make him cry in the movie)
Post Scripts:
I would like to leave the portrayal of the marriage sequence to your imagination.
Ra.One promised all you could ever ask for in a Hindi movie: arguably the greatest superstar ever in Hindi cinema donning the role of a superhero, international names like Akon, Hans Zimmer (background score, The Dark Knight fame), Tom Wu and ‘never before’ sci-fi effects. And though they failed to rope in Jackie Chan and Lady Gaga, the left-over canvas being filled by our own Rajnikant (Sanjay Dutt and Priyanka Chopra are not that exciting prospects!). Shahrukh went a bit overboard with marketing that lasted for around a year. A brave move indeed but by the time the release actually came near the audience started getting exhausted by a 24X7 Shahrukh. But still the hype was expected to be worth an experience. But Ra.One fails at levels where movies should actually score: direction and script. In one of the early scenes, the protagonist Shekhar Subramanium (Shahrukh Khan) is seen eating Chinese food mixed with curd in Indian style (with fingers and not chopsticks!). It best describes the story. Superheroes mixed with video-games mixed with comedy mixed with drama mixed with father-child relation mixed with husband-wife relation mixed with un-necessary dance sequences mixed with god-knows what else. The outcome, at the risk of sounding obvious, does not taste good. With so many ingredients it in, the story fails to justify any of it and the plot never develops properly.
The story begins at not so ‘dreamy’ note with Shahrukh fighting Khalnayak (Sanjay Dutt, yes he’s called THAT in movie) to help damsel (Priyanka Chopra) in trouble. The sequence does not add anything to the storyline and ends abruptly (it’s a dream sequence remember? And dreams in Hindi movies end pre-maturely). The story actually begins with a geeky father, Shekhar trying to teach good-is-nice things to his son Prateek (Armaan Verma). He acquiesces to his dude son’s demand to make the villain of his next video-game ‘cool and bad’. After a complex set of events, the baddie Ra.One in videogame, Akashi (Tom Wu) comes into real life and kills Shekhar and is now in search of Lucifer aka Prateek who left the game unfinished. Now Shahrukh-looking G.One, the good hero of the game, jumps into his suit and becomes real in order to protect Prateek. He kills Ra.One for a while but Ra.One enlivens himself again (technicalities you see!) this time as Arjun Rampal. As we know, goodness wins and Ra.One is killed again.
The movie never takes crisp direction and the moment you think the super-hero story is now on course, a cheap slapstick comedy or dragging emotional scene holds it back. The movie is interspersed with buffoonery, which is annoying and hardly funny (Salman Khan funny though). The train sequence would have been gripping had we not seen it in Robot, and the demolition of Victoria Terminus is technically well-crafted. Dialouges are mostly vapid although the background score is a treat.
Armaan Verma is strictly okay. Kareena Kapoor’s role is poorly developed which is surprising given the screen time she has been provided. She delivers nothing in terms of performance but a Chammak Challo, which is well-choreographed. Arjun Rampal surprisingly does not have that much of footage and he does an okay job of keeping that single expression throughout the movie. It is saddening to see a talent like Shahrukh to enact such poorly written clownish roles. He pulls it off with ease and as well as he always does. Shahrukh should understand that it is not year 2000 and even Sachin has changed his game immensely since then. He needs to choose scripts which do not have romance in it just for the heck of it (MNIK and now Ra.One). And no matter how loudly you say, you cannot make a superhero movie with a budget of Rs 100 crore (assuming that the other 50 went for marketing). Ra.One will hardly appeal to his loyal NRI audience (Superheros? Really? They see Hollywood too, remember?). If the movie was made for children, Shahrukh got it completely wrong (the comedy derives help from every possible sexually gratifying body parts). The movie is one time watchable and Shahrukh’s fans will savor every inch of his presence on screen after almost two years ( I did :) ). Watch for some of its decent action and tech-sequences.
My ratings 3/5
Post Script: The theatrical teaser of Don2 looked promising (only if Shahrukh could stop over-doing his baritone) and I look forward to it. :)
