Today, tired of the day, I went to this coffee café which has franchise across all the major cities. The ambiance was nice and the big screen on the wall showed a repeat cast of an EPL match. It was a no-brainer that the place was less coffee and more dating. But that was not the reason I was there. I wanted to be at any place which was not spelt as T.R.A.F.F.I.C. I was fidgeting the contents of my bag when I was presented with the menu card.
Jeez! I’ve been to cafés but this list was really endless. I realized that I’ve had never ordered anything at such places; thanks to my friends who always did it for me. But this was confounding. Cappuccino? Espresso? Okay. This sounded familiar. I can do that. I thought.
“Espresso it will be.” I told the waitron.
“Ristretto? Doppio Espresso? Or Macchiato?” Came the quick interrogation.
“Macchiato sounds good.” I pretended
“You want it with latte or with ice?” He was not giving up.
“I’ll have it with latte please.” I expressed my intentions.
“We’ll have your customized-coffee at your table in few minutes Sir.”
Now I did not know what to say. But that was exhausting! I felt like screaming out loud that I just wanted to have a coffee. Any damn coffee as long as it is not a tea. I don’t care if it is Cappuccino or Americano. Yes, I don’t understand coffee for I ain’t a coffee-maven. I don’t even know what ‘latte’ means your schmuck! (I later ‘Googled’ it though to make sure they weren’t adding poison.) I'll rather watch KJo's shallow talk show where they don't have to choose from n varieties of coffees. and where they spell coffee with a 'K' than dying of suffocation at this place.
And by the moment they had the customized-coffee for me, I did not even feel like having it. I felt like an outsider and had a feeling that fifty pairs of eyes were piercing through me for the every sip I was having. Overcharged and done with pretentious etiquettes, I rushed out of the place. Breathed some polluted air. Cars and buses were talking with honks. I love traffic, I said to myself.
©Rakesh 2011
